Fading to Grey?

** TiVo warning: If you've got Grey's Anatomy episodes waiting on your TiVo, come back after you've watched them **

I came to Grey’s Anatomy in much the same way that I imagine most men across the country have: I was infected by my wife. She jumped on the train early on, no doubt lured by the biting banter of Christina, the vulnerability of George, the tragedy of Izzy and Denny, and the drama of Meredith and McDreamy, all played out to the tune of a different Snow Patrol tune each week.

All of this was pouring out of my television, usually as I sat a few feet away at the computer, so I quickly fell under the spell of Seattle Grace, and before I knew it I was sitting on the couch beside my wife, wondering along with her about Burke and Yang, Addison and McSteamy, George and Callie. I was hooked.

I’m still hooked, I suppose; I was awake until almost two o’clock the other night watching three hours of TiVo’d episodes. Midway through the marathon, however, a thought occurred to me. Maybe it’s time to get off this train.

The sea of contradictions which make up the Grey’s Anatomy formula is fairly well established by now. It’s set in a hospital, but not really about medicine. The doctors log hundred-hour work weeks, but still have time for any number of romantic interludes. The show is named after Meredith Grey, but she’s the most annoying character. We accept these things without question; we watch for the drama, after all.

But since this is a hospital show, there has to be some medicine, right? (Any viewers who doubted this were corrected last summer when ABC's "news" program 20/20 devoted an entire hour to the medicine of Grey’s Anatomy -- a shameless bit of cross-promotion.) So here’s how the medicine fits in: the patients exist merely as metaphors for any issues confronting the characters.

You know how it works. Derek is trying to decide whether or not he can leave his wife for Meredith, and he’s presented with two people who have been speared by the same metal pole; if they are separated, only one will live. Izzy is suppressing her pain after Denny’s death, and she meets a woman whose body is slowly turning to stone. George is feeling guilty for sleeping with Izzy, and -- presto! -- in comes a patient whose trip down the Amazon with his mistress was interrupted when a small fish swam into his penis.

Within the flow of the show, it always looks the same. The pensive resident walks into an exam room where he or she finds a patient whose diagnosis mirrors some moral dilemma, then the camera cuts back to the resident, looking appropriately stunned.

It’s a nice gimmick, but along with the rest of the show, it’s getting old. I’m suddenly not so interested in which wedding dress Christina chooses (and does it make any sense at all that she would ask Callie to be a bride’s maid?) or whether or not Derek keeps breathing for Meredith. It’s all getting rather tiresome, so much so that I can’t imagine summoning the energy to set my TiVo for next season’s spin-off, Private Practice. (That’s a lie; it’s set in L.A., so I’ll be powerless to ignore it.)

But there’s still some hope for Grey’s Anatomy. If the writers can look away from the Callie-George-Izzy Bermuda Love Triangle, there are a lot of interesting angles to pursue. Dr. Korev, for instance, has quickly become the most interesting character on the show. Once a cocky, chauvinistic future plastic surgeon, Korev has recently developed an interest in obstetrics and a capacity for caring. Also, Dr. Bailey, the one character who appears to have a normal life outside of the hospital, could stand to get a story line or two thrown her way. Finally, Yang’s marriage to Burke might actually allow her to become more person than sarcastic robot. (Actually, she does a pretty good job as the sarcastic robot. Maybe she should stay that way.)

So while it might sound like I’ve given up hope on the Thursday night soap (ten points if you catch that classic rock reference), I haven’t. As much as I complain, I’m still hooked. And even though I don’t expect anything earth-shattering from this week’s season finale, I’ll still be there on the couch watching to see what happens.